This coaching program has been developed for adult children of narcissistic parents. In this process, the WIEBGE recovery model is followed and intervention techniques (EFT, PSYCH-K, BARS, etc.) are used to deal with the pain and trauma. Because pain is processed immediately during the stories, blockades will dissolve and more and more space will be created to experience life in a lighter and more pleasant way.
Restoring from being raised by a narcissistic parent requires courage and time. And when you enter this process, it has a threefold effect:
1 – it’s your turn now! Now yóur pain and yóur stories are being listened to. Now you can give yourself what you needed, but never got. At the end of the process you will also be aware of your own narcissistic traits, that you have developed by example and that you can also unlearn
2 – your own (future) children will also benefit from it, because you have become a conscious parent. A parent who has shown to be responsible, by coping with his own pain and by acknowledging narcissistic traits. And the more you process, the less you pass on.
3 – you will be less and less triggered by your parent, which will reduce the tension in the relationship and help you to allow yourself to have warm feelings for that parent. You are going to give yourself the space to redefine your role in the parental home..
The WIEBGE acronym stands for “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”, and signifies certification in Dr. Karyl McBride’s five-step recovery model for treating adult children of narcissistic parents.”
I have been WIEBGE certified since 2017, after completing the training by Dr. Karyl McBride. This in addition to my personal experience.
The program contains 5 steps and each step contains assignments. It is therefore advisable to keep a diary during the entire process. The assignments and the diary can be discussed with each session.
Step 1: acceptance and grief
This step is crucial for your recovery. The realization that the parent is who he/she is and that it will never change, has a deep impact that can impose a deep sadness. Supported by intervention techniques, you can now start to mourn what you have never had and who you never was allowed to be.
Step 2: separation and individuation
A narcissistic parent ignores or suffocates a child, so he or she can not develop a sense of Self. In this step you start or continue with this development of Self. You will also learn about the projections and the envy of the parent. You make clear to yourself what belongs to you and what belongs to your parent. You will also learn how to eradicate negative messages and use the EFT intervention technique yourself.
Step 3: becoming the woman that I really am
In this step you will strengthen your inner mother and then gain insight why you collapse emotionally in some cases. You will see that there was a reason for being or being called “such a sensitive child”.
Step 4: dealing with the parent during recovery
This step helps you to set boundaries and to make clear decisions about being in touch with your parent. You will learn about different forms of contact, how to deal with your extended family, and to gain more understanding about the narcissistic ways of your parent.
Step 5: The end of the legacy
In this step you look at your own parenting skills, romantic relationships, friendships and narcissistic traits to prevent you from passing on the legacy of distorted love.
The duration of the process depends on the pace of your process. You may only need one session for one step, but three for another step. You may want to do a session every week or just every other week or every two weeks. I do not recommend more time between two sessions, because it is very important to keep the process in motion.